My
Chinese Complex
Summer break is coming… a most exciting moment will approach.
I will go to China again! Yes, going to China!
For my mom, this is
called going BACK to China, but for
me as an American-born kid, this is called -- Going to China!
I was born to an
Asian family in the United States. Due to my mom’s work and business, she found
a Nanny from Beijing, China, to take care of me once I was born, because my mom
wanted to make sure my Chinese pronunciation was standard from a young age.
My grandma also
lived with us at that time. My relationship with my grandmother became super
awesome. I often squeezed next to my grandma, listening to her childhood
stories about China. At that time, I developed curiosity and intimacy toward
China.
In 2nd grade, my teacher asked the class to
write a comparison paper between "Modern American School and Grandparents’
Old School.” Without any hesitation, I quickly wrote out my grandmother's
“Girls School” in the early 50's in China and made great comparisons between
the schools in the United States. In the paper, due to strong personal and
emotional facts, I made the final conclusion: My grandmother's old Chinese
school and the schools in the U.S were both excellent! My teacher didn’t
comment on my point of view, but in the class, she praised me for my writing
being so detailed, amazed that my understanding of China was very profound.
Going to China in
the summer has been one of my many journeys since the age of three. Although I
am only eight years old now, a little kid like me has already traveled to more
than a dozen cities in the U.S. and some other countries. Reminiscing on all of
them, I have to say going to China is my favorite
trip, because my grandparents are there, whom I miss so much; There are also
many more relatives for me to visit; There are "hometown" delicious
foods only in China that I can taste as well.
I was very happy
every day in China, not just "happy"; I should use the word "exciting"
to describe my feelings. (My teacher always told us to express our mood using accurate
words.) Traveling with loved ones is always "exciting.” The day is always
so short; the schedule is always so full.
I still remember the
last time I was leaving China. In the airport, my grandpa told me, "China
has too many places to go, I was afraid you are too young to travel to so many
places. Next year, you will become bigger, so I will take you to see more
places. "
My grandma said, "Your
mom always arranges the schedule so tightly. Next year, ask your mom to stay
longer in China.” I nodded my head and tried to hold back my tears so as not to
cry. I wanted them to remember my nice, cute, smiling face.
My life is always
happy and busy in the U.S. Happy and
busy makes me enjoy routine life in the U.S. and soon forgetting my more
emotional thoughts of China. But, at some points, deeply in my heart, I have
something to hide ... Time is flying; summer break is coming; I will go to
China again; and I will still fill my suitcase with thick English novels. My
diary of my trip to China will still be use my first language-English to write
my thoughts.
The United States
and China have become one family for me, and I feel more and more blurred about
the borders of the countries. That is me, an American born Asian girl
with a Chinese complex!
Life
is not a destination, but a journey.
--Nina Zhan Age 8
暑假临近了，让我激动无比的事要到来了，我又要去中国了！对，是去中国！
对妈妈来说，这是回国，而对我这个在美国出生的人来说，应该是叫--去
中 国。
我出生在美国芝加哥的华裔家庭里。由于妈妈工作忙，听说在我出生的时候，妈妈专门给我找了一个从北京来的阿姨照顾我，为的是确保我的中文发音从幼儿时期就是准确的，尽管我只是个婴儿。外婆当时和我们一起住在美国，我和外婆关系很铁，经常挤在外婆身边，听外婆讲她小时候在中国的故事，还有妈妈小时候在中国的故事。那个时候，我就开始对中国充满了好奇感和亲切感了。
在小学二年级的时候，老师让我们写一篇--当今美国学校和当年外公外婆学校的对比文章。我洋洋洒洒的写下了中国50 年代初，外婆的“女子学校”的介绍，与现在美国学校做了一一对比，由于加上了我个人强烈的感情因素，我在文中最后总结道：通过以上事实对比，外婆当时旧中国的学校和美国现在的学校是一样的优秀！老师不对我的观点妄加评议，只是在班上称赞我写的如此详细，感叹我对中国的了解非常之深。
暑假去中国是我从三岁起开始的旅途。虽然小小的我，在8年里跑遍了美国十几个城市，还去过其他国家，但是去中国是我的情有独钟。因为那里有我朝思暮想的外公，外婆，那里有更多家人亲情的聚拥，那里有在美国不能品尝到的“家乡”美味，那里留有我的爸爸妈妈曾经走过的足迹。
我在中国的每一天都是开心的，不只是“开心”，应该是用“激动”来形容。老师总告诉我们表达心情用词要准确！有亲人相聚的旅行永远是“激动”的。日子总是那么短暂，行程永远是满满的。
记得上一次离开中国，送机的时候，外公说：“中国有太多要去的地方了，怕你太小跑不动，没敢给你多安排，明年大一点儿了，带你去更多的地方。” 外婆说：“你妈妈总把时间安排的那么紧，下次来多呆些日子。” 我点点头，忍住不哭，我要让他们记得我可爱的样子。
我在美国的生活是快乐的，是忙碌的。快乐和忙碌会使我很快又回归到，在美国的日常生活中，而淡忘了那些思念，但是到某时，心里就会有一份割不断的亲情 ... 快了，暑假快要到了，我又要去中国了，我的箱子里依旧会装上厚厚的英语小说，我的日记里依然会用英语母语写下我的中国之旅。
美国和中国对我而言已经成为一个家庭，我对国界的感觉越来越模糊，这就是我，一个在美国出生的，亚裔女孩的中国情结。
今年暑假我又要去中国了。 噢，也许我也该说，我又要--回 中 国
了！
